Forest of the Dead

[everybodylives]

Autodestruct in four minutes.

The computer intoned and she imagined for a moment that the voice was
being snide as she raced the clock. Fail now and he'd never forgive
her for stopping him. Assuming any of them survived. But then if he
died here her past self would never meet his future self and she'd
have no reason to call for him so he'd survive.

God, she hated time paradox's, they gave her migraines, she almost
wished he'd wake up so she could ask how that all worked but in nearly
twenty five years he'd never elaborated past the fact that it was all
a bit timey whimey and best not be messed about with.

Autodestruct in three minutes.

"Yes Thank you, I can count." She muttered checking the handcuffs to
make sure he was secure. She paused for a full beat longer than she
should to take a last look at him. Brushed hair off his forehead and
shook her head. So terribly young.

And in need of a haircut.

"Have a nice eternity love." She bent to kiss him lightly, he didn't
wake up of course - this wasn't a bloody fairytale, and set her
journal and both sonic screwdrivers just out of his reach.

Time was running out. It was ironic. Her Doctor would be making jokes
now but she was finding it hard to see the humor. He'd already gotten
the console wired, and she slid into the alcove and started clicking
the last of the connections in place.

Autodestruct in two minutes.

He woke up with two minutes to go, had predictably savior complex
filled arguments against letting her do it. Always had to save
everyone but she couldn't let him do it this time even when his voice
took on a pleading tone she'd only heard a handful of times.

"River! Please! No!"

"Funny thing is, this means you've always known how I was going to
die. All the time we've been together, you knew I was coming here. The
last time I saw you, the real you, the future you, I mean - you turned
up on my doorstep, with a new haircut and a suit..." She paused,
clarity coming with a swift suddenness. After Donna, after Rose after
losing everyone and everything he'd ever loved. He'd loved her,
because of this, because he'd already survived losing her.

"You took me to Darillium to see the singing towers. Oh, what a night
that was! The towers sang, and you cried."

Autodestuct in one minute.

"You wouldn't tell me why, but I suppose you knew it was time. My
time. Time to come to the Library. You even gave me your screwdriver -
that should've been a clue."

He'd always been one step ahead of her, Time Lord spacial sense and
something else, this she realized now. This moment. He reached for the
sonic screwdrivers, but they were just a bit too far.

"There's nothing you can do." She said soothingly. Lose me now she
thought, before I matter. But she'd underestimated him, forgotten how
much every life mattered and he argued with her. God the man had a
mouth that never stopped.

But her death didn't matter, not compared to what she'd had with him.
And she could tell by his face that he understood -- that he knew.
That she mattered. The tears came then, and she had so many things to
say to him, to tell him that choked in her throat.

"River, you know my name!" Autodestruct in ten... "You
whispered my name in my ear." ...nine, eight, seven... "There's
only one reason I would ever tell anyone my name. There's only one
time I could.."

"Hush, now!" Because if he said it she might falter, enough that they
both knew and her eyes locked with his full of things she couldn't
say. Not enough time. Not to this Doctor who wasn't her Doctor.
"Spoilers."

...three, two, one...

She smiled, and plugged together two cables forcing herself to keep
her eyes open, so that he was the last thing she saw until she was
blinded by a white flash, surrounded in electric heat until it was all
she could see.


She came back to awareness kneeling in damp grass, a breeze on her
face cooling skin that felt chapped and burnt. She saw spots when she
opened her eyes. Spots that danced and darkened and merged into
shapes. Trees. A lake.

She started to laugh.

"Impossible man!"